Title: One Of Them
Fandom: The West Wing
Archive: Ask first
Spoilers: Minor, random 4th and 5th season
Written for: donnaficathon for charlotteu
A/N: I have no idea if you'll like this or not Charlotte, it is unbetaed and maybe slightly confusing, another uncon take on Donna
She smiles as she Amy comes, shaking and whispering to God.
Wonders when she became one of them.
She had always thought she was different, turns out she isn’t really, and the worst part is that she is enjoying it, at least for now.
She knows she’ll regret it eventually.
Knows that this is the one defining difference between her and the rest of them, the one thing that ensures that she will be forever a crappy politician but a decent human being.
Knowing that she will regret it doesn’t stop her from enjoying the moment though.
Most people in this town think she is in with Josh Lyman, wrong. Once upon a time, yes, she was in love, smitten with him, but he fucked her over and this is her revenge.
Nobody would have thought she was capable of it.
If it ever got out, that they were together, people would be convinced that it was Amy, getting back at Josh, after all he had screwed her over too.
Little did they know, it was all her.
That first night, a few weeks after Zoey’s abduction, it was Amy sitting at that bar in Georgetown, drowning her sorrows with a shot of ice cold vodka, lonely, broken, no job and apparently no boyfriend.
She had walked up to her and whispered in her ear, “Josh is with Sam.”
“What are you talking about?” Amy had asked too drunk to understand the implication of the statement.
She bluntly got to the point, “Josh is fucking Sam, has been for years, he never loved you, never loved me.”
“Really?” Amy slurred, not quite believing her.
She had simply nodded in reply, “buy you a drink?”
She can’t remember stumbling back to Amy’s apartment, hours later, but the sound of Amy screaming her name as she came is unforgettable, she remembers the endorphin rush, the sensation of having complete control over another person for the first time ever.
She never really was the controlling type; she was the good girl who did whatever her boyfriend of the moment told her to do, that is how she had her first sexual encounter with a woman at 19, a boyfriend’s fantasy, she was more than a little surprised to find she enjoyed it, a lot.
Washington DC is a city full of dykes, she has had occasional affairs since moving to the capital but she never initiated them, certainly never ended them.
For the first time in her life she has that power, to decide enough is enough, when she gets bored or in the unlikely event that Amy gets too close for comfort. The power is addictive for reasons she can’t understand, unlike many in this town she does not have an addictive personality.
She wishes now that she had been capable of this six years ago when Josh was casually leading her on, when she fell madly for him, kissed him once then caught Sam bent over his desk, Josh fucking him from behind.
But she couldn’t do it then, which only makes her more determined to fuck Amy over now.
For the first time in her life she is not in love or even falling for the person she is fucking, even the occasional affairs have resulted in a broken heart, not this time though, she know she needs to break it off before the regret sets in.
She imagines the conversation will take place after great sex.
“Amy?” she’ll ask.
“Yeah?” Amy will reply trying to be casual, know what is going on, from experience, she has done this many, many times.
“This needs to stop.” She’ll say simply.
“I know.” Amy will admit because it is the standard response of the individual being fucked over.
Then Amy will leave, probably with tears streaming down her face.
She doesn’t know when the conversation will take place but it will feel abrupt, out of the blue, to Amy anyway, not to her, she will have being planning the exact wording for months, going over the words of former lovers to find the right ones, there are many variations to choose from but she knows she will go for the simple direct route.
In the meantime she will enjoy the ride, the addictive rush, knowing it will end somewhere, sometime.
She probably will never do it again, she is after all not like them, she will go back to being the one getting fucked over until she finally escapes DC, she knows DC will never be her true home, she isn’t like them, never really will be.
Josh deserves this, Amy does too, that woman can be a real bitch sometimes, only now she too is fragile and broken, she is seeing things from a fresh perspective but she’ll never change, they are not capable of change, the Josh, Sam and Amy’s of the world.
She thinks herself lucky, maybe one day she’ll settle down, a husband, little kids, everything, they never will, Amy will forever be stuck in DC, never quite getting where she wants to be and ending up bitter, alone.
Josh and Sam, they might escape DC but never each other, they will never be anything more or less than they are right now.
Amy is asleep now, head against her chest and she’ll resist the temptation of playing with the chestnut locks falling loosely into her eyes, this would be somehow too close, too real.
Amy will wake up in the morning before she does and leave silently knowing all too well the terms and conditions of this relationship, she can stay the night as long as she is gone by the time Donna wakes up, Amy often wonders to herself as she lets herself out feeling more hollow and alone than the night before when did she become like this.
When did they become like this; She is weak and Donna is strong, she would have never imagined it.
Donnatella Moss is fucking her over.
No one would ever believe it.
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